Sunday, October 29, 2006


Election day is mere hours away. And voting seems like such a futile effort sometimes. Know why?? It’s the whole election process. Politics these days are like diarrhea—particularly at election time—unbearably discomforting, ugly, messy and coming with no warning whatsoever. Only when it’s over can we hope for any sense of relief.

Political campaigns are no longer about the issues. They abound with tales of trip and flights of fantasy that rival some of the greatest works of fiction ever written. It’s not about what a candidate CAN do, it’s about what an opponent DIDN’T or WON’T or CAN'T do. It’s not about today; it’s about what happened 20 years ago, magnified to astronomical proportions to sensationalize a personal characteristic that was a consequence of youth and not an ingrained fatal flaw.

I register a party affiliation only because I have to, if I want to vote in primary elections. Otherwise I wouldn’t waste the time. And, surprising as it might seem (to politicians, that is, because we lambs of the general public are all to aware), the negativity into which the campaign process has mutated is the quickest way to shut down my senses and cause me to seek a less caustic, more pleasant environment.

The worst aspect of the treacherous truth-be-damned tirades is when you find yourself seated in front of a radio or television set subjected to the volume of vociferous vocalizations concerning aspirants who have absolutely nothing to do with your morals, money or mission in life. I speak of the agony of being in a jurisdiction outside that governing your own political purview. Not only am I bombarded with worse than white noise from the babblings of the fools, but it wouldn’t matter a hill-o-beans anyway because they couldn’t get my vote even if they crossed my palm with coin of the realm (not like that hasn’t been tried before, but, thankfully, I never had the dubious distinction myself).

Politics is one reason I don’t watch too much mainstream television. It like being forced to watch a television channel with nothing but commercials. Not one sane—or even insane—person would put up with that kind of torture. The digital age, if nothing else, has made people more aware of the world around them. This also tends to expose BS for what it is, not matter how it’s packaged, who’s promoting it, and no matter how many gazillion times you hear it. Something along the lines of…if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, sounds like a duck…

If I had my way, there’d be no political parties. We’d have no expensive, exhaustive, excruciating exhibitions of erroneous eruptions ever again. I’d abolish political action committees, special interest groups and eliminate big money influence. I’d set term limits to one term, no matter what office. I’d restore public service to serving the public and not the private interests of those who serve. Pay raises would be at the discretion of the voters and not the elected. I’d prohibit public opinion polls, since they perpetually proclaim previously prepared propaganda. Oh, to have vanilla public servants who are driven by the urgency of the issues and not vice-versa.

Ah, but I am a student of reality, however much I fantasize about a better world. As such, I return to the title of this blog and what little control I can wield in this fall of furious firestorms. It’s a given that we can’t stop them from speaking evil. But, with the click of the remote or the push of a power button, we can instantaneously terminate their ability to force us to see and hear their evil. So, that’s two out of three in OUR favor.

I wonder…if a fool’s filth falls in the forest and there are no voters to hear it, does it really make a sound?? Sadly, we may never know the answer to this quintessential question.

I long for the day when politicians finally come to realize that by avoiding the issues, shifting the focus on lies and innuendo, they are only fooling themselves. But, in the final analysis, we get what we pay for. And if you don’t contribute your vote’s worth, you’ve suffer right along with the rest of us, only without a valid reason to complain. So, we’ll just blame you, since we exercised our patriotic duty and you joined the ranks of the slackers whose whining is always the loudest.

O give me a home where the candidates roam and the libs and conservatives play; where seldom is heard an encouraging word, and you can’t trust a word that they say.

Voting is a civic duty. It’s a shame those we elect don’t consider their offices likewise. We’re all one big dysfunctional family, at the mercy of our uncaring, unsharing, unscrupulous UNCLE SAM.

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